12/13/24
Angels Among Us
Mornings are always rough for me. I’m pretty sure I run high on cortisol all the time, but the first few hours of the day bring a bonus dose of irritability, often negativity. It’s at this time, someone needs to lock my social media until I’ve had coffee and time to level out. Especially on NextDoor, I really need to behave my typing fingers.
This morning was no different, other than it was also the day after I got shitcanned from the newspaper dream job. While I did manage not to spit much venom on social media, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. I felt a little hopeless. Nobody wants to hire a 47-year-old semi-crippled artist in or around Dayton, Nevada. Even if they did, my Suburban is now laid up in the back yard with a new oil pressure issue.
FUUUU…..
Wait, did I just see a notification from PayPal, saying I got money?
WOAH!! Someone just made my whole week, and saved the Christmas fund we borrowed from to pay bills!
The much appreciated gift came with a message “Look toward the light,” followed by some encouragement to open my mind more to the Christian faith.
Christianity, or any other religion for that matter, is a really hard sell for me. I won’t get into all the nuts and bolts of why, or else this blog would stretch for miles. However, I do know what it means for the true believers – the ones who put their beliefs into practice to shine light in the darkness. For these people, it’s not about what church you spend tithings in. Putting a higher power in charge to guide them to do good for the world, they lead the way with love. Some will even go as far as to help up a big-mouthed atheist when he falls down.
“Only focus on the beautiful things.”
These were words spoken to me by my beloved step mother one night, as I was caring for her after a massive stroke a few years ago. She said it almost like a chant, over and over, as she stared me in the eyes. It was one of those many moments, where she could see deep into my soul. It wasn’t just her talking to me.
Mamacita’s voice still lives in my mind, reminding me of what to focus on. Sometimes it’s hard to hear her over all the worry, anger, and other useless noise in there. She never was one to yell.
Today’s reminder, from a friend in the realm of the living, sounded much like Mamacita’s words. “Only focus on the beautiful things” and “Look to the light” have the same vibe.
Merry Christmas
So close to Jesus Christ’s birthday, I feel it’s fitting to give thanks to the Holy Trinity for the good will that has reached out to help me. Whether or not I believe such an entity exists, I appreciate the people who do good work in his name. Special thanks to my guardian angel from this morning – both for the financial support, and for the good message. Both came at the perfect time to change the direction of my whole week.
